I knew I would have to broach this subject at some point since it seems to be one of the top concerns for single women entering vet school. I guess one of the reasons I’ve avoided it thus far is that I’ve wanted to avoid talking directly about my romantic life as I don’t necessarily believe that my personal, romantic life has a place in blog. I tend to keep that part of my life very private — even from classmates — so as to avoid gossip, drama, etc (all of which I avoid like the plague). Furthermore, I don’t believe it is fair for the person I’m dating to have details of our relationship posted in a public forum.
That being said, I recognize that dating in vet school is a hot topic (hence the Part One in the headline), so I will attempt to address dating in vet school more generally, offering advice whenever possible.
Not long ago, I met up with guest blogger Jennifer in Davis and she asked me, “So what’s dating like in vet school?”
Hmmm…
I wasn’t sure what to say.
Don’t get me wrong, there are people who have started relationships in vet school, both with other people in our class as well as with people outside of our class, but for the most part, people who came into vet school single remained single for much of first year. But that’s not to say that’s how it has to be or even should be. It is possible to date or start a relationship during vet school, it is just slightly more difficult. In my opinion, a partner who is aware of and is understanding of the demands your course load is imperative, above and beyond any other traits. I also believe that a partner who can support you and keep you focused on your work as opposed to constantly distracting you from it is crucial.
You may be thinking that you can’t be that picky in vet school since there are so few men around. In fact, I have heard many of my classmates complain about how there are no opportunities to meet guys while in vet school or how few guys there are in Davis. I would like to argue that these girls have the wrong tactics. Like I said before, I would prefer to keep my own romantic life out of this, but suffice it to say, I have dated various guys while in vet school. While I am in no way a person who is out at bars and clubs until the wee hours of the morning, I have been able to meet a plethora of guys outside of vet school. Given my experience, here is my advice (my apologies if some of this may be reminiscent of articles that appear in Cosmo or similar magazines):
Find a hobby
- Make this a hobby that is completely unrelated to vet school. If you’re not sure what you’d be interested in, then try out a few things and see what you like the most.
- Be involved on a regular and consistent basis in your hobby. You want to be known and recognized as a regular participant. People will want to know your name, introduce themselves, and get to know you better. Most regulars come to know each other quite well while the infrequent participants go unnoticed.
- Make plans to do things with some of the people in the group outside of the hobby. This can be on an individual or group basis, but it is important that you move your friendship outside of your hobby. Seeing these individuals in a different light can help you learn more about them. So plan to do things: dinner, drinks, coffee, movie, anything! Getting to know people in a group setting can be less intimidating (less pressure as it is less date-like), though you can certainly suggest an individual outing to one of your new friends. I personally think that group settings are perfect for getting to know one another better and seeing whether or not there is any romantic interest between you and one of your new friends.
Remember: whether or not something develops between you and one of your new friends is completely up to you. But don’t complain that there are no men or no opportunities to date — sitting at home surrounded by books and your laptop will not get you dates. So, create the opportunities yourself in a positive environment rather than in a bar or club and the absolute worst that can happen is you develop some new friendships and new skills in your hobby of choice.